What does it mean to be happy?
You may define happiness as getting what you want, being treated well, having things go your way. It’s easy to be pleased and comfortable with the world when life is treating you well. Your self talk is pleasant, you feel on top of the world, everything is good and right.
However, what happens when things go to hell in a handbasket? The kids act up, the boss is a jerk, the wife or husband or significant other is unhappy and points out your many faults or even leaves you, the business goes down the tubes, you have misfortune of some kind that sideswipes your life. Suddenly life isn’t so great any more and you most certainly aren’t happy.
Most of us go into a funk. Our self talk and how we look at the world turns dark. We blame ourselves for our failures and we’re angry at our circumstances. Our thinking gets negative and circular, like we’re in jail, often because we are- the jail of our own negative thinking.
Life just happens, good or bad. Thoughts just come to you, good or bad. What defines happiness, ultimately, is your ability to keep a space inside yourself which is above external circumstances. A quiet space which recognizes your goodness, your value to the Universe no matter what the external circumstances are. This can be very difficult if you’re going through tough financial times or a divorce. Yet you can’t wait until you’re “feeling better” to develop this space inside you. You need it now, right now, because these times come to us all.
Begin with everyday self talk, the WordFood of respect for your own inherent value. You have a right to be here. External circumstances do not define who you are. What you act upon defines you. How you treat yourself and others defines you. Bad circumstances and bad thoughts will come and go; they are a part of life. Your happiness depends entirely on how you can rise above the everyday calamities, the ups and downs, and find that internal peace. Knowing you are valued no matter your circumstances is the key to happiness.