WordFood

WordFood - how we feed or starve our realtionships

- Julia Hubbel

Julia’s ability to get this group of type-A executives to engage in true networking was incredible. She is truly skilled at motivating the group to engage and interact with each other, and her openness and honesty really come through.

— Shelley Stewart, Jr.,
Senior Vice President of Operational Excellence and Chief Procurement Officer, Tyco

April 6, 2013

Daily WordFood Diet

“I hate my life!”

Those are the words a dear friend expressed in an email a few weeks ago. She was frustrated with her job, she couldn’t see her grandkids because of a tiff with her son, her house wouldn’t sell, her weight loss plan wasn’t working. She was lonely.

My friend Alicia is lovely, looks half her age, is talented and smart, is certainly not obese. She has many things to be thankful for but she can’t see them.

Her choice of words is instructive. While there are times that you may have felt this way about your life, sometimes it makes sense to consider this: the words you say and the thoughts you think are like prayers. Everything you think goes out into the Universe as a request. So when Alicia, who wants very much for the conditions of her life to change, speaks negatively about her life, she is effectively asking for more of the same.

Your thoughts- all of them- minute to minute, day to day, carry your intentions into a highly responsive Universe. If you are sending out negativity, bile, anger and bitterness, it is no wonder that things may not be going well. If you send out gratitude, graciousness, wonder and joy, then these are what get returned.  This is perhaps why it’s so confusing at times. You go to church on Sunday, or say prayers periodically and ask fervently for better conditions. Then you find fault, complain, are angry all the time because your situation doesn’t change to your liking. Ever heard of the Law of Attraction?

No matter what shape you are in, your body allows you to see the sunsets, listen to a child’s laugh, enjoy a good football game, eat a great meal, look at your family’s faces, pet your beloved animal, smell popcorn. Without your body, these things aren’t available to you. For someone facing imminent death, they would trade anything to be in your body, no matter how thunderous your thighs or the size of your Visa bill. Life is a privilege.

Your words carry great power. Listen to your thoughts, your words. Listen carefully to your internal conversation, your demands. You are being heard.

Joel Osteen once said on a radio interview that his advice for everyone, everywhere was to find something to be grateful for every day. This is one habit that will serve you enormously. Find reasons for joy, laughter, saying thanks. And watch the conditions around you shift.

August 16, 2012

Listening To Ourselves Talk

The other day I went to lunch with my financial advisor, whom I hadn’t seen in several years. She asked me a perfectly reasonable question: “How’s it going?” And I told her. And went on a rant.  Two big accounts hadn’t worked out, I had worked hard on them, yadda yadda. After a while I began to listen to myself, how negative I sounded. “That’s pretty toxic,” a part of me thought,” and that’s not how I want to be in the world.” Clearly a piece of me needed to vent, which is understandable. But our words are indicative of our inner world and it’s instructive to take a look at the pictures they paint about our beliefs about ourselves and our place in life. What I was painting wasn’t pretty.

I slowed down and took a breath. My lunch partner was kind enough to replay some of what she heard. We agreed I might need to take a stress break. But more than that, the gift she gave me was the mirror. It wasn’t fun to hear myself complain. By the end of lunch we were laughing and I was over myself.

When I looked back honestly at what had cancelled, one contract was a bullet I’m glad I dodged. And the other was work that I no longer really want to do. So really, what’s been lost? Sometimes the Universe forces a major housecleaning so that new opportunities can appear. We’re so busy concentrating on what we’re losing that we’re not open to what’s possible. We focus on our losses, and can be blind to what’s coming.

My coach Lari talks about being “in question.” Holding an open space around what’s next. Being willing to not know. The way he describes it is that we need to “push away from the side of the pool.” Since I have a fear of drowning this analogy has real meaning for me. It means I dog paddle for a while in the deep end.

Lunch was a gift, a reminder of how we sometimes get swept away by life and by our negativity. I took time to consider how lucky I am and how much there is to be thankful for in all aspects of my world. Afterwards I mentally pushed away from the side of the pool and figured what would come, would come.

The next conversation I had with a new potential client was amazing. We immediately clicked. It could lead to a remarkable relationship. All signs point to a lot of potential, but more importantly, work I love for a company I respect. Had I gotten the other two accounts, this couldn’t happen.

Do you listen to how you sound? Are you lucky enough, as I was, to have someone play back your WordFood so that you can hear when you’re being toxic? These are our true friends. We all have parts that want to vent but there’s a time to put that part to pasture and make room for what’s possible. Pay attention to your words, and what they are saying about your state of mind.

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