WordFood - how we feed or starve our realtionships

- Julia Hubbel

Julia’s ability to get this group of type-A executives to engage in true networking was incredible. She is truly skilled at motivating the group to engage and interact with each other, and her openness and honesty really come through.

— Shelley Stewart, Jr.,
Senior Vice President of Operational Excellence and Chief Procurement Officer, Tyco

March 5, 2013

Letting in Junk WordFood

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Julia Hubbel @ 10:04 am

Chances are you love junk food. Even a little bit here and there. A cookie, Doritos, some truffles, could be anything. I read last year where the three worst things you can eat are Oreos, Ritz crackers and hot dogs. Three of America’s favorite things to eat, especially Oreos. Few of us can resist.

What about Junk WordFood, which doesn’t make us fat or rot our teeth, but rots our hearts and minds? Even the best of us can revel in a little gossip, the inside skinny on someone’s troubles or scandal. When we’re talking to a friend about an annoying person, it’s so tempting to fire off our own frustrations. The other day a friend was discussing a woman we both knew, someone who was a highly accomplished and lauded woman but who also had some challenges in her personal relationships. Neither of us had been able to establish connections with her. I had strong opinions, and was sorely tempted to express them. My friend asked what I thought, and this time I simply offered that I knew she had challenges, and I wasn’t privy to them, and for my part, I couldn’t connect.

The temptation to slam this woman behind her back was real, but unfair to her and unjust. I’m quite sure I have my detractors for one reason or another, and it would be painful to hear their comments. They’re not privy to my full story, just as I’m not privy to this woman’s. We cannot know what is going on in others’ lives.

When you let Junk Word Food into your world, or pour it into others’, you’re adding garbage to the atmosphere. You sully the waters and create hurt that can sometimes backfire. Your words have the power to damage, not just the people you’re criticizing, but also yourself, because they affect your state of mind. When you refuse to take part in gossip and tearing others down, you keep your heart and mind clean. You also set the standard for others to follow.

Like Oreos and Ritz and hot dogs, Junk WordFood is tempting, but it does damage. When those opportunities come to participate in gossip or character assassination, just walk away. You’ll feel lighter, better and stronger when you do.

May 21, 2012

Harmful WordFood

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — Julia Hubbel @ 9:19 am

Do you have a part of you that likes to gossip? Many of us do. This negative part of us is also secretly fun- although invariably at others’ expense. But has it ever come back to bite you?
Let’s say you have a friend who is treating you badly, or so you think. You go around to all your friends and complain bitterly. You tell your story with yourself as the victim (as we all tend to do). Your friends take up your cause because they love you. Over time they form a mini “army” of haters against this person and lobby you to leave. Yet over time, you realize that perhaps you were wrong. You learn more. And realize that this person was pretty great after all. Now you have this army of haters that you now have to turn around. They are going to wonder what’s the matter with your judgement when you now want to be with such a horrible person.
You’ve got a responsibility now to clean up your act, and it’s with all your friends. With each of them you need to let them know you’ve been a gossip and that you badmouthed another person unfairly. That it wasn’t fair to that person, nor was it fair to your friend to engage them in such an ugly conversation. And from now on if they hear this kind of thing coming from you to call you out on it. Ask for their help. By doing this, you’re reading your unattractive gossipy part the riot act. By enlisting your loving friends in keeping you in line, you’re cleaning up your WordFood and you’re taking responsibility.
Have you created challenges with harmful WordFood? Engage your inner circle to keep your words supportive and uplifting. Keep gossip out of your life, and leave everyone around you feeling nourished and encouraged.

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