WordFood

Sometimes we have moments when our less attractive “parts” come out and belly up to the karaoke mike of life and spew out unpleasantness. We don’t like to admit to those aspects of ourselves, but they are us, facets of us, and we can insult and hurt others. The most important thing we must do in these cases do our best to breathe in and either try to stop that part from soldiering on, or, if possible, take responsibility for the damage and make an apology.
Last week while in Baltimore I had an emergency. Some nasty critter bit my ankle and landed me in the emergency room for four hours, and I was in terrible pain. By the time I got to the hotel I was exhausted and still in a lot of pain, on crutches and cranky. At the counter, the manager and I got into an argument about how many nights I was staying. It spiraled out of control. He threw my credit card at me and I used foul language at him. We ended up agreeing I’d stay but the atmosphere was black between us.
As he carried my luggage to the room, I suddenly realized that I was in the wrong. I turned to him and asked his forgiveness immediately. I said that I’d had no right to be so rude and apologized profusely.
The look on this man’s face was profound. His whole countenance changed. He relaxed. He smiled and said, “I accept your apology.” And we were fine. Just like that. And I felt worlds better.
We all have moments when we are tired and irritable. It happens. Our egos get invested in being right and we get rigid. That small serving of humble pie was a gift to us both. He and I passed the rest of that evening in gracious exchange.
Are there times when a moment of humility, words of self effacing WordFood can transform an exchange?

It’s amazing how easy it is to get into the habit of catching people in the habit of doing things wrong. I was in Albuquerque working with leaders from BNSF a short while back and we were discussing how safety conscious this big railway company is. And for good reason. Safety is paramount. Every day people are playing with very big trains and lives are at risk: life and limb. A small mistake could mean huge impact down the line. Managers and leaders have to be on the watch all the time for violations big and small.
However this means constant vigilance for what is potentially wrong- and not enough catching people in the act of doing things perfectly. So we spent time talking and practicing the art of celebrating a job well done. Even in the small things. Doing a coupling job well, for example. An everyday job, but when it’s acknowledged, it makes a difference. People don’t expect that extra pat on the back. And boy, do we glow when we get it, especially if we’ve had a hard day.
At the end of our training, one senior manager commented about how the WordFood program made him think about how he treats his kids. “I’m always catching them out doing stuff wrong,” he said, sadness in his voice. “I don’t want to be that Dad.” We talked about ways to find the good in what they do every day and celebrate the small stuff.
Especially in our intimate relationships we need reminders that for the most part, we do get it right most of the time. Point that out to each other. Bask in each other’s goodness and value. Then when we have to make the inevitable course corrections, they’re much easier to take. Do this with yourself, too. These are the WordFood Energy Enhancers, or compliments, that we need to keep us engaged and happy.
Who do you need to feed today?

How do you or your staff say thank you to your customers? This is WordFood of a very special kind, and an opportunity to get folks to come back again soon. I saw an example of wonderful WordFood today at the Baltimore Convention Center at the end of a four day international supply chain conference.

BaltiMORE is the theme for a city that has undergone many renovations downtown and the city wants you back. With the harbor redone and the shops and restaurants glittering and gleaming, it’s a welcoming city. The big convention center is a study in good design, and the huge hall sits thousands, keeping its people very busy serving us for lunches and dinners. The Institute for Supply Management was fed excellent food by attentive staff day after day this week, people who took care not to interrupt the important presentations. But the real treat was today, at the end of the last brunch.
As we all walked out of the big dining hall after being regaled by a comedy team, we walked out the doors to be greeted by the servers themselves, lined up on either side of the doors. They applauded us, and thanked us for our business. Smiling broadly, they clapped, smiled and whistled as we walked out. We were movie stars!
Surprised and pleased, we all beamed at the attention. Many of us slowed down to enjoy this WordFood of acknowledgement. What a wonderful end to our convention, and what a terrific way to say thank you for your business! We all felt like heroes!
How can you feed your customers delicious WordFood to remind them of how important they are to your success? How can you delight and surprise them so that they can’t wait to come back for more?
I can’t wait to return to the Baltimore Convention Center for another walk down the red carpet!

At a regional meeting of BNSF Railways in Albuquerque last week, I was delivering leadership programs to managers and supervisors. These big tough men and seasoned women play with very large trains in a challenging environment, and many of them come from the military. The railroad isn’t a job, it’s lifestyle. For many of them it’s been handed down through many generations.
During the program their General Manager told the story about how there were some serious losses at one point in the company’s history, and BNSF had to take a careful look at why. When all was said and done, BNSF realized that the men in Winslow Arizona needed feedback, attention and interaction with supervisors. When that was taken care of, the problem went away.
Even the toughest, roughest of us need to know we are valued and recognized. These courageous, brave and smart people who take care of America’s railroads are some of the biggest men and strongest women you’ll ever meet. But they too will blush and become shy and appreciative with a genuine compliment and kind word from a boss or a coworker. They too need to hear that they’ve done a job well or that their long hard days are making a difference out there in America’s hinterlands.
Daryl Ness, the General Manager, said to his people not to ignore the employee who says, “leave me alone.” That’s often code for “pay attention to me.” He’s spot on. This is the red flag for “I need encouragement.” Provide WordFood of acknowledgement: a job well done, notice the small things, ask about their day. It will make all the difference.

Sometimes the most important thing we can say is the simplest: please, thank you, or more importantly, I’m sorry. How often do our egos get in the way when an argument is spiraling, when a little humble pie would stop it in its tracks?
Yesterday morning I was the Phoenix airport on the phone with a service that had done my gutters a while back. I had written a check for $90 and put it under my front door mat. When they came to do the work, they said the check was gone. I later saw that the check had been cashed. There ensued an argument. They sent me collection notices and I in turn sent them the copies of the cancelled check. Finally I had them on the phone at the airport and we were both mad. Apparently someone had stolen my check and cashed it but I wasn’t happy about having to pay another $90 and they weren’t happy about not being paid. I could hear my anger spiraling, and hers. Then I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so angry.” And instantly the spiral ended. She apologized as well and she credited me the $90, and we agreed that I’d research the thief.
What fool is going to go to court over $90 to be right? Our parts get drunk on anger and get swept away. Hopefully another part stays sober enough to put the brakes on, eats a little humble pie and takes the first step. Insisting on being right often results in our ruining perfectly good relationships. Gracious WordFood will always raise the conversation to another level.

It’s a fascinating thing to be in another country where people largely don’t speak your language. I spent three months with Rosetta Stone and a coach learning as much Thai as I could- and it’s a challenging language. I can get around enough, and the smiling, kind Thai people genuinely appreciate and respond to my attempts to speak their language with enthusiasm and gratitude and much encouragement. However, there is a single WordFood currency that is spoken everywhere I’ve been on this trip: through Peking, Hong Kong and here in Thailand, as I’ve met people from Germanhy, England, Denmark and Japan, and that is the language of courtesy, regard and kindness. Whether or not we all commune with the same spoken language, we do express the same things with our faces, our body language and our tone of voice. We are so able to say what we mean and express our intention using these methods, to show others we have their interests at heart. Whether standing at a respectful distance, using a moderated voice tone in Asian cultures and making sure you don’t raise your voice in order to save face where there might be a misunderstanding, or to help a stranded tourist to find her way, there is a universal language called kindness. We all can speak that WordFood and the world needs plenty of it. The Thai people have much of it to give, and when we Westerners travel here, we might remember that that have given much of their lovely country up to tourism for our pleasure- and have done with smiles and we should be grateful back. And what a country it is. They have much to teach us about courtesy and kindness in daily interactions, the acknowledgments of everyday greetings and honorifics, and the sweetness of exchanges. It’s not just the Thai food that is good here, is the feeling that their words leave you with…that you have been uplifted by the exchange. And that is true WordFood.

When we think about how we fed our families this morning, the first thought that comes to mind is breakfast- oatmeal or eggs, toast or Rice Krispies, fish soup or something else more exotic in other lands. That’s not the food we’re addressing here. What kind of verbal nutrition did you feed them? What kinds of delightful tidbits of kind, supportive, appreciative words did your family receive at breakfast? Any time we have a moment when we can sit down with each other for breaking bread, it’s an extraordinary opportunity to exchange WordFood- the food of impressions, the food that we all hunger for sometimes even more than what nourishes our bodies. No matter who’s doing the cooking or serving, everyone is talking- so set the example. Find ways to say something wonderful to everyone. A compliment. Something encouraging. Acknowledge a job well done, an achievement, no matter how small, how attractive someone looks. These meals of WordFood offer a wholly different kind of meal to your loved ones, and they feed you, too. All of you will start the day feeling better inside and out. You will be fed, even if you get an Oh Mom! or Oh DAD in response. Do it every day so that you’re serving up verbal nutrition with daily nutrition. It will change you and change your family.